Best of Craigslist

Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best postings from craigslist.org, selected by readers en-us Copyright 2009, craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best of Craigslist Collection 2008-11-15T14:56:49-05:00 2 daily Why doesn't anyone ever miss a connection with me? http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/920438509.html Everywhere I go, I scan my surroundings and wonder if someone is secretly plotting a CL missed connection post for me. "We locked eyes briefly at the Dollar Store as you were picking out those heavy flow maxi-pads. You smiled at me so innocently. If this is you tell me what I was wearing" Nothing. I drive down the interstate and look in all the cars and then come home to check CL to see if anyone missed a connection with the "Sexy dark haired girl in the toyota going towards the MMBT on 664, you eyeballed me and picked your nose. I want to take you out." Still nothing. I get up every day, shower, get dressed and go out just so someone can miss a connection and look for me on CL. Don't approach me in public. I'm waiting for you here. <ul> <li> Location: All over Hampton Roads <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-11-15T14:56:49-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/920438509.html Why doesn't anyone ever miss a connection with me? text No Job? Never Call? Hate cats and/or dogs? YOU could be next! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/804339783.html Well, since I seem to have a very specific type, I'll just lay it out there. I'm apparently really into the shiftless layabouts. If you are unemployed, unmotivated and possibly still live with your parents... you could be next in my long line of failed relationships! Just think of it... an educated woman to show you how things work (hey, I'm even handy around the house - you won't have to raise a finger!). A woman with drive, ambition and goals to contrast your utter lack of motivation. A girl with a thick skin who can roll with the punches and both dish out AND take jokes... I'll be happy to be the one who doesn't sugar-coat things so that you can blame ME for all of your hurt feelings and failures. It's probably even ALREADY my fault and you haven't even emailed me! I am completely co-depedant, so you don't have to worry about me booting you to the curb over petty things (like finances, commitment or general civility). In fact, you could probably take my cash, sleep with another girl and then come over and break some things in my house and I'd just clean it up and continue along our path of destruction. So if you're looking for a lady to use and abuse, I'm your girl! I have a house, a car, a life, friends, pets and my shit together. Please, I need some sort of zeitgeist in my life to screw all of this up! It's been way too long since I've been reminded of how awesome it is to be undervalued. I'm over on minutes this month, otherwise I'd put my phone number up for you to call right away (either from your parents' landline or collect, from jail). So just email me and maybe we can work something out. Pick you up? Well, yeah, if you need me to! Williamsburg? No problem. It's only about an hour's drive. I don't mind one bit, I've got nothing but time! <img src="804339783.jpg"> <ul> <li> Location: 23462 <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-08-19T22:11:49-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/804339783.html No Job? Never Call? Hate cats and/or dogs? YOU could be next! text Free Grass Clippings http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/718445793.html Free grass clippings. Good for mulch, compost...etc. You cut and rake. <ul> <li> Location: Deep Creek <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-06-13T11:11:40-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/718445793.html Free Grass Clippings text Kissing lessons http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/624675990.html Are you a woman? Are you tired of guys complaining that you are a horrible kisser? Would you like to learn some new techniques in a fun and safe environment? Well you are in luck my friend! Right now you can take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer. I'm offering FREE, thats right, absolutely FREE kissing lessons to the first 500 women who apply. So don't delay, those 500 free offers are going fast! If you act RIGHT NOW you will receive training on the following types of kisses: 1.) French kissing 2.) Eskimo kissing 3.) Electric shock kissing 4.) Ear kissing 5.) Neck kissing 6.) Spiderman kissing 7.) Breath Kissing 8.) Underwater Kissing 9.) Vacuum Kissing And much much more!!!! So what are you waiting for?? Here are some testimonials from people just like you who have gone through this 5 hour course and come out the other side an expert kisser!! "I used to kiss guys and their reaction was always the same, they would say "you are not a very good kisser, I'm dumping you". But now thanks to this amazing course I've received all kinds of compliments, and I'm married now!!" - Katie (A Real customer) "I used to never get a date, but thanks to this kissing course I can really impress a guy with my tongue abilities, and he will overlook the fact that I am 600 pounds! All thanks to these amazing kissing lessons!!" - Jane (Not just a figment of my imagination) There you have it, so what are YOU waiting for? Pick up the phone now! And then put it back down and send me an email for an awe inspiring experience!! You won't regret it!! <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: Hampton <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-03-30T23:55:15-04:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/624675990.html Kissing lessons text A heartfelt plea: Sell me your working vacuum cleaner http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/485865778.html My wife's vacuum cleaner is the loudest thing ever (even louder than her snoring) and my wife hates it because it barely works (kind of like her brother) so she has given me an ultimatum: buy me another one or I start randomly deleting things on your TiVo. People of Virginia Beach, I humbly implore you to sell me a working vacuum cleaner (bonus if it comes with attachments) for $25. I am not a single mother with eleventy kids looking for pity, I am but a man looking to protect the greatest gift one can have, a TiVo. This Thanksgiving when I sit with my family to wolf down my meal in 10 minutes that took my wife 5 hours to prepare because I have the football game paused in the other room, it is you who I will be most thankful for. So please sell me a vacuum for $25. Don't do it for me. Don't do it for my family. Do it for TiVo. It will earn you "Save Until I Delete" status in my heart forever. And 25 bucks. UPDATE: Dear fellow Listafarians, usually I would delete afterward, but since it is Thanksgiving, I wanted to thank you all for your tremendous outpouring of support (and marriage proposals). Because of viewers like you I now have a new vacuum and my TiVo is safe. May you all receive the equivalent of a karmic PBS tote bag. Craig bless us everyone (except you, creepy old man who invited me to "help myself" to anything in his basement. I'm not falling for that one. Again.) Best Wishes, Random Guy on the Internet  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: 23451 <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-11-21T16:33:54-05:00 Copyright 2009, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/485865778.html A heartfelt plea: Sell me your working vacuum cleaner text